I’m not usually a huge believer in fate; however, Wednesday, at a time when I am slightly terrified about going home and managing on my own with Nate, I saw two t.v. shows that had an almost instantaneous impact on me.

 First, Wednesday morning on Canada a.m. there was an interview with some author (sorry – didn’t catch the name!) about how people think – or more accurately, how little we actually think!  One thing he described was a phenomenon called monkey brain, which totally resonated with me.  Bascically, it’s when, late at night, or while you’re daydreaming, you think of a million and one brilliant ideas and then just as quickly as they were there, they’re gone.  I know I’ve mentioned before how at 3 am when I’m nursing I always have witty and wonderful ideas that by morning are long  gone – this is exactly what he was talking about.  And he said that if we concentrate and focus on those ideas, we are harnessing the true power of our minds.

Second, while I was feeding Nate after his afternoon nap, I was watching Oprah.  Her show Wednesday was all about getting the life you want.  They were discussing the ideas presented in the book The Secret (which I haven’t read) and how powerful positive thinking can be in your life.  I wasn’t totally into the show at the time, although a few comments caught my attention.

But (yes, there is a but) when I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep the information from the two shows seemed to come to some collision point in my mind.  I was thinking fleetingly about how I’m hoping things will go for me when I get home to Comox, and about all the changes I would like to make in my life and how unattainable those things sometimes feel.  And usually I would have just rolled over and eventually gone to sleep, but not last night.  No.  Last night I got up and grabbed a pen and paper.  And believe me…for a new Mom with a sick 5 month-old (just a cold – no worries!) that was a huge deal.  Because sleep was soooooo much more appealing at the time. 

Anyways – I started jotting notes about the kind of life I want to live.   And then I got thinking about a word for 2008.  I think it’s kind of a scrapbooking thing….though I’m not sure where it originated.  My sister picked the word HARMONIZE.  It’s been in the back of my head to choose a word but nothing was jumping out at me so I had kind of forgotten about it.  Until now.

My word is going to be MINDFULNESS.

To me, mindfulness is about living in the here and now; acknowledging my strengths and my limitations and then learning from them and growing spiritually.  Mindfulness is about not letting the enormity of my goals overwhelm me, but rather taking things one step at a time and relishing each moment for what it is. 

Embracing my present will help me find the future that I want

Dale and I learned a lot of these concepts during our hypnobirthing sessions before Nate was born, but I think in the hectic days of new motherhood I had forgotten many of them.  I realize now that I haven’t really been living my life to its full potential – I have merely been coping.  I don’t want to cope.  I want to LIVE.

I think I often try portray myself to others as a positive thinker, when inside I’m really just teeming with doubt and negativity.  Lately I have been setting a lot of goals for myself…but haven’t really had any kind of plan in place as to how to attain them.  I think I am starting to put together a plan…and I’m excited about it!

One thing I want to remember as I move forward with my plan is that ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS.  I can’t just talk about the changes I am seeking, I need to actually make the changes.  This may seem blatantly obvious to you more enlightened folk out there…but it’s somewhat of a revelation to me!

Wow…I’m pretty sure this is about as “Jen” as it gets!  Hopefully I haven’t bored your socks off with my ramblings 🙂  I think that my new sense of direction will actually spawn some more interesting posts in the days and weeks to come…I have big plans for this little blog!  You’ll just have to bear with me while I get myself back to Comox, settled in and sorted out.  I’ve been checking out really great new blogs like this one and this one.  I think I found them both through Megan…but they have been filling my head with lots of new eco-friendly ideas which I’m excited to put into action.  In the meantime, let’s all do our health some good and try a few moments of meditation, eh?